Almost Plotless
by forgotmyoldaccount
Summary: Random. Quinntana / Brittberry.


Her head hurts. It feels like she made out with a brick wall and eventually got laid by a bulldozer. She felt her hand reach up something on her bedside table. Oh, yes. She had gone accustomed to her body going autopilot at times like this. Her wandering hand found the lighter. Her feet swung themselves over the edge of her ridiculously small bed, willing her to move her butt awake as her hand idly flipped the lighter on and off.

Her head hurts.

And apparently, her body needs to smoke it off.

No logic, yeah, but she's on autopilot. Sue her.

* * *

><p>"You awake yet?" Brittany really needs to learn how to knock. Her housemate and self-proclaimed best friend trotted near her at the balcony. Santana looked at her incredulously.<p>

"No. I'm still sleeping." The brunette took another drag and resisted the urge to blow out in the blonde's direction. The girl just smiled, took the cigarette and threw it.

"Hey!"

"Hey back. Let's go grab breakfast." The blonde pecked her lips and led her back inside her bedroom.

The brunette rolled her eyes and grabbed some pants & a sweatshirt.

"You should really stop smoking naked out the balcony." The small giggle didn't escape her ears. Santana just shrugged.

"I'm smoking hot. _Literally_."

The blonde laughed and pulled her out their apartment.

* * *

><p>"You each got two huge rooms, how bad can it be?" Kurt kept his eyes on his laptop as he drank his macchiato. Santana tried not to whine like a baby – which she knows she really fails at when she's with him.<p>

"But Britt wants one of them to room with me."

"Well, duh? There are two of them! And – stop playing with your food – you should just, you know, accept that." Kurt gently swatted her hand idly flipping a tomato slice back and forth with a stirring stick.

"Just imaginary split your room into two and let your new roommate buy her own bed. It's not like you have a huge bed. Heck, you don't even have a medium sized bed! How can you keep sleeping on that single?"

"No mocking my internal salvation."

Kurt tried not to roll his eyes at that. "But it's a single!"

"Yes, and I love it."

* * *

><p>"I'm Brittany and this is Santana" Brittany smirked as she greeted their two new roommates.<p>

Santana's autopilot mode seems to be on a roll this week. She nods and smiles. Kurt will be so proud.

"Hello! This is Quinn and my name is Rachel" the small brunette motioned to her own blonde companion and then extended her hand. Brittany didn't even give it a moment's notice.

Rachel seriously didn't see the kiss coming.

"I'm sorry." Santana said to the other blonde, her smile still plastered on her face as she tried to pry Brittany away from the smaller brunette whose eyes seemed to almost go out of their sockets. The girl introduced as Quinn just stood there agape.

"Britt_ really_ likes your friend. " Santana eyed her own blonde and she can just see that glint on Brittany's eyes; the one that says "_I'm fucking her. It'll be loud. I'm sorry you have a test tomorrow_".

Quinn finally found her voice. "I… uh." She shook her head gently and cleared her garbled thoughts. "Yeah, I'm rooming with you. Rachel can room with her." She smiled reluctantly at Brittany who's still eye-raping the smaller brunette.

"You sure? She'll rape your friend you know?"

"Yeah, I'm sure this lady here won't mind. " Quinn gently shook Rachel out of her trance. Brittany smiled dopily at the now blushing new brunette, who wore skirts like she hates the damn thing.

* * *

><p>"I thought you and Brittany were, like, dating."<p>

Santana raised her head from her book. "I don't date friends"

Quinn shrugged and laid down the couch playing at temporary bed. "We shouldn't be friends then."

The brunette's left brow reached the roof.

* * *

><p>"The newcomer is gay?"<p>

"…are gay."

"Cool."

"Hot, actually." Santana took another bite on her sandwich.

"No, I mean cool as in the coincidence you know?" Kurt continued as he dipped his cheese sticks on more cheese.

Santana thought for a moment. "Ooh! Like we're siblings and you're gay and I'm a lesbian?"

"Exactly."

"Oh, right. Cool"

* * *

><p>"You have to let me sleep here for tonight."<p>

Santana looked at Rachel like the smaller of the two had grown another head. And a dick. Quinn was immediately at the door. "Why?"

Rachel sighed and lowered the loose neckline of her shirt showing her bra-covered breast. Santana tried not to squirm.

"If I don't, these won't have time to heal."

"Hickies don't heal overnight" Brittany said hugging Rachel's waist from behind. The brunette quickly melted to the touch. Rachel turned to look at Brittany with smoldering eyes.

Santana chose that moment to swing their room's door close.

* * *

><p>"Is your friend part rabbit?" Quinn muttered as she slipped on a pair of boxer shorts.<p>

"No," the brunette replied. "…Is your friend part rabbit?"

Quinn thought hard. "No."

Quinn walked over to Santana's bed.

"They sure go at it like rabbits." The blonde said as she sat on Santana's bed, prying the brunette's eyes from the book she'd been trying to read.

Quinn scooted closer to Santana's leg. Santana just laid straighter. They stared at each other for awhile before Quinn spoke again.

"Your bed is small."

Santana tried not to laugh at that. "It's a single, what do you expect?"

"Well…" Quinn trailed. She moved to straddle the brunette. Santana raised both her hands to the blonde's waist, steadying her. "…I can sleep on top."

* * *

><p>While she and Brittany have always been friends, good girl-loving friends, and the blonde dancer had been, in more than one occasion, too hot to handle, Santana didn't lose herself. She had absolute control of her libido. The mere fact that she'd rather fuck herself than anyone else was a strong mantra she always had with her. Was and had being the keywords.<p>

With Quinn, it was utterly impossible not to just jump the blonde naked.

"I can't stay honorable with you around, Quinn." She started as she saw Quinn lying on her bed one fateful night.

Santana decided that studying till late and until she can't even understand the words she's writing on her report were really good distractions. Not that it really even worked seeing that the blonde had taken it to herself to lie down on Santana's bed while she waits for the brunette to finish almost every night.

Her 'get-far-far-away-as-possible-from-the-hot-hot-blonde-oozing-sex' plan wasn't really working.

After the first time they had started their own mating frenzy which Brittany and Rachel had been doing every night since they first laid eyes on each other, Santana found that the control she had over her libido was promptly thrown out the window. It's like Quinn found her switch. And she jammed it on for life.

Not to mention the blonde signed exclusive rights.

"You don't have to." Quinn lazily replied as she stretched herself on the very much slept-on single that Santana had once thought only reserved for her own body.

"No, seriously, you can't go around our room looking like… that." She gestured lamely at the oversized shirt Quinn wore, the only piece of clothing the blonde has on that hot body at that very moment, which was riding her creamy legs and exposing that delicio—whoa-ho-ho. Stop.

Quinn looked at her pensively before a small smile crawled on her pinkish lips. "I didn't know you were so opposed to me wearing clothes." The blonde lifted the shirt up and away from her body before Santana could even say _fuck that blonde_.

Now in her naked glory, Quinn motioned for Santana to come close.

Santana didn't even had a fighting chance.

* * *

><p>"So…"<p>

"Yes, I'm also sleeping with my roommate."

"Hmm. Odd." Kurt tried to look like a genius with that reply. "Ah! Maybe they're bent on world domination!"

It took all of Santana's will power and love for all family members not to smack Kurt to the next subway station. "That didn't even—you know what, never mind."

"No no. I mean, look at it this way." Kurt held out his hand which his little sister took apprehensively. "Two non-descript college students, claiming to be best friends from a small town in Ohio, answered Brittany's advertisement for '**Need two female roommates. No extra baggage. Can live off minding their own business**.'" Santana thought the last bit was really clever and she congratulated Brittany for it.

Kurt continued, his eyes glazed staring at a distance. "You see two girls who seemed nice and harmless where actually…" he looked in Santana's curious brown orbs."…they are aliens trying to dominate New York…" He paused for effect "…one lesbian at a time. " He said with a solemn voice, feeling proud at his conclusion. He abruptly dropped his sister's hand and went on to furiously type something on his laptop.

Santana can't help but stare agape at her lame-excuse of a brother. Kurt looked back at her after he finished with his laptop, a big smile on his face.

"I'm into writing sci-fi chick-flicks right now."

* * *

><p>The brunette swore she left her lighter on top of the fridge last night. She knew there's no other place she would put it on after fixing herself some assam tea. And there's a rule that no one moves a thing out of place in their apartment if that thing is not yours, even if that thing is a lacy brassiere hanging from the TV by the living room for the entire world to see.<p>

"Looking for this?" Quinn waved the little black Jack Daniel's Zippo lighter Santana got from her mom for Christmas last year. Santana tried to grab it but Quinn must have been related to Speedy Gonzales.

Quinn quickly tucked the lighter inside her spanks.

Santana decided she can let that little issue go.

* * *

><p>"What's with the cake?" Santana tried to swipe an icing but Brittany was quick to swat her hand away.<p>

"We're celebrating our first month together, aren't we Rache?" Brittany smiled brightly as Rachel proceeded to cut the carrot cake. Brittany turned to Santana. "Didn't you get the invite?"

"Baby, we didn't hand out invites for this." Rachel was saying as she flashed an apologetic smile to the other brunette. Santana just smiled back.

"Oh, so it's been a month since we've moved in?" Quinn said from across the room.

Rachel tried not to blush from the fact that Brittany practically jumped her on day one.

* * *

><p>"I like you… a lot. More than how much I can show you right now. And I don't know- " Rachel stared deeply into Santana's eyes, tears threatening to flow. "I don't know if I can keep myself away from you any longer."<p>

Santana's face didn't show any emotion. Rachel cupped her face; her trembling hands betrayed the strength in her voice. "I don't want anyone else, no one else, but you, Santana."

Rachel moved slowly, intent on capturing Santana's lips. She's almost there; their lips almost touching. Rachel stopped a breath's away.

After a few minutes, Santana sighed…

..._then_ turned to her left, smiling mischievously.

"You owe me a twenty and a lap dance Quinn" Santana smirked as she bumped Brittany's awaiting fist. Rachel relaxed from the couch and shot Quinn an apologetic smile.

Quinn shook her head in disbelief. "Rachel! I said you make her squirm! What kind of actress are you? She wasn't _even_ affected!"

* * *

><p>"Behold, the amazing me has graced you with my equally amazing presence!" Kurt sashayed into their living room as he dropped several shopping bags on the floor. Santana quickly grabbed the one labeled 'Princess Charming'.<p>

"Oh my god, you got me Shogun by Clavell! Thank you!" Quinn lounged at Kurt who gave her a quick peck on the cheeks as she cradled the book and her 'gift' bag with more paperbacks.

"Only the besties for my babies." Kurt smiled as he eyed his little sister at the corner who was trying her hardest not to scream with delight at the new earphones and the 24-70mm Sigma lens.

Brittany scooped her bag and ran to their room. Rachel tried hard not to cry at the inch-thick tickets she's holding, all VIP passes to the next 10 or so shows on Broadway.

Rachel's almost-cry was put to a full stop when Brittany emerged wearing a full white bunny costume, complete with a head.

"Imma have my wabbit on for the whole week baby!" Brittany's muffled voice and jerky little dance made Santana face palm. Quinn just smiled at Kurt's baffled expression... who shot a worried glance at Rachel's equally baffled face.

"They've been having rabbit week for more than four months now, it's no biggie." Quinn was saying as she skimmed through her new book.

* * *

><p>Santana turned the TV off as she motioned for Brittany to get off the couch. "My mom's visiting, you know the drill."<p>

"Aye, aye captain!" Brittany saluted before walking towards her room, dragging a confused Rachel along.

"So.. uh, what's the drill?" Quinn was saying as she sipped her ice cold coffee. To say she was nervous was an understatement.

Not that she has any reason to be. She's a well contributing human being to her roommate… whose mother she's going to meet… whose daughter she's fucking to oblivion almost every night.

Santana eyes Quinn. "Oh, there's no drill for you. Just for Britt." She said nonchalantly. Quinn's nerves multiplied.

"No, seriously, what do I do?"

"It's not like you got me pregnant."

"…Are you sure?"

Santana stopped at that. She has not fucked any guy since… since she learned the word fuck. Sure she and Quinn fucked every night. Without their morning classes, they could have fucked every morning too. But she's a female. Quinn's a female. No sperm there. Even though you fucked each other's brains out, without sperm, you can't get pregnant.

Right?

"Without sperm, you can't get pregnant. Right?" The brunette sounded unsure and after a once over on what she said Santana wished she can slap herself upside down.

Quinn can't laugh hard enough.

* * *

><p>"You're very beautiful, Quinn."<p>

"Thank you very much, Mrs. Lopez."

"Oh come now, call me Maria. Quinn, you are wonderful and my Santana is glowing."

"Mom…"

"Hush, where is your brother? He's taking too long…"

"You asked him to buy a week's worth of food, of course it will take more than ten minutes."

"I only want you girls to have no problems what so ever in this harsh city."

"It's really no problem, Maria, my mom and dad are sending me college money so I'm pretty much able to pay my share, no problem with that."

"Oh, but you need to save too little one. Santana's been saving since last year. To have money for dates, I bet."

"Mom!"

"Do you often go on dates with my little Tana, Quinn?"

"We're both… home bodies I guess… So no, not really."

"Maybe she's saving for your garden wedding now. That's her dream ceremony, you know?"

"Mom!"

"I am back from hell! I bought sushi for myself." Kurt entered the kitchen not paying attention to the tomato-faced Santana.

* * *

><p>"I hate you!"<p>

"No you don't! Rache, come on, it must be somewhere around here!"

"No, you –Urg! I, don't you dare touch me!"

"Rache! Rachel, come on, open up."

"No!"

"I'll look for it."

"No!"

"Fine, be that way. I've been apologizing for it all morning."

"You know what, there – have a goodnight!"

"Rache—"

Santana chose that moment to come out of the kitchen. She looked at Brittany clutching some pillows and a blanket.

"Camping out?" the brunette snickered.

"Shut up."

"The heck's up Rachel's arse?" Quinn asked as she handed Santana her chocolate milk.

Brittany frowned at the time on her phone. "I, well..." She looked at Quinn dejectedly. "I sort of lost her autographed DVD copy of Wicked." Quinn elbowed Santana who was trying so hard not to laugh.

"Well, it's a big deal for her, knowing her." Quinn sighed as she sipped her chocolate.

"I know."

"So, you're kicked out? For how long?" Santana moved to wrap her arms around Quinn's waist. "You can't sleep on anything besides your bed."

"Yeah, but I'll manage. I kind of expected her to go all gung-ho about it. I just can't remember too well if I misplaced it or I lent it out." Brittany scrunched her brows trying to remember where the heck the DVD was.

"Well, good luck with that."

* * *

><p>"You think…" The worry from Santana's face made Quinn stop and peck her lovingly.<p>

"Nah, give her twenty minutes or so." The blonde shrugged waiting for the brunette to focus a little.

Santana looked at Quinn before tugging at the blonde's shirt. Quinn nipped at the brunette's neck.

"Tw-twenty minutes?" the brunette tried to think clearly and not stutter like an idiot but the blonde was just relentless leaving open mouthed kisses all over her breast.

"Yeah"

Soon, they heard a muffled conversation by the living room. The shuffling of feet and the gentle closing of the door opposite theirs cemented her girlfriend's twenty-minute-or-so prediction.

The delicious mouth-to-mouth action happening down south made Santana stopped worrying altogether.

* * *

><p>She was wearing that hot off shoulder sweatshirt Santana loves so much. The glasses perched on that nose was too hot and the messed up short blonde hair atop that gorgeous head made Santana squirm a little. She knows Quinn isn't wearing anything below save for a dainty underwear.<p>

"Honey, you can jump me anytime you know?" Quinn was saying not looking up from her book.

Santana did just that.


End file.
